Proverb 31:27-28, "She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her."
A caring and responsible wife and mother has her hand's full. She doesn't work a full-time job, for that would be a pleasant vacation for her. No, she works around the clock, sleeping whenever she can. She doesn't receive 3-days on and then 4-days off like firemen do. No, she's on call 7-days a week, 24 hours a day. Babies and small children require constant observation, lest they choke on their own vomit, or simply stop breathing, or crawl into an electric clothes dryer, or fall head first into a 5-gallon bucket and drown. A loving mother has these fears and hundreds more on her mind at all times. Children have no awareness of danger. Small children are mischievous and require a mother's full-attention. God has given a special gift to women that enables them to meet the challenges of motherhood, that most men simply cannot handle.
It is tragic that many young husbands and fathers fail to comprehend the burden of work that their wife carries, trying to care for 3 or 4 children 24-hours a day, 7-days a week, 365-days a year. Many men go to work for 8-hours and then expect their wife to do EVERYTHING ELSE because she's not working outside the home. That's not fair men. The way I see it, since your wife is working 24-hours a day, you should divide that time in half and work 12-hours yourself. That means when you get home from work, including time driving and your lunch, you should still have about 2-hours of time remaining to meet the 12-hours. If you spend an hour on lunch and an hour driving, then that's 10-hours combined. You still have 2-hours left to help your wife around the house, i.e., if you want to be fair toward her. She's stuck in the house all day and you get to go to work and talk with coworkers and meet people. She has nobody in many cases. You ought to spend a couple hours each day helping to do the laundry, cook and repair things around the house.
Consider also that you husbands and fathers get a 48-hour weekend which she doesn't get. The mother of your children never gets a weekend break from her required responsibilities. I hesitate to call motherhood a “job,” for it is a gift from God, a great honor and a role that any God-fearing, Christian woman would want to partake of. Thus, you men ought to spend half of your weekend helping your wife around the house instead of going fishing with your buddies. If you do go fishing, you'd better take your wife with you, if that's what she wants to do. If she would rather go see a flower garden at the local zoo, then you had better take her there instead of going fishing. You owe that to her for caring for the children all week!
Those are your children too and you haven't done your part just because you put bread-and-butter on the table. The government will do that for her if she ever divorces you, so you'd better treat her good. In today's feminist-controlled America, your wife doesn't need your financial support anymore. If you as much as raise your voice at her, she qualifies for free section-8 housing, free food-stamps, free medical, et cetera. I'm not saying divorce is acceptable with God, it certainly ISN'T. God hates divorce with a passion. It is evil, like murder and witchcraft. I'm just saying that if you don't do anything more for your wife than pay the bills, you're treading on thin ice. She's not your slave.
Motherhood is the greatest thing in the world. Planned Parenthood doesn't think so; but God does. Planned Parenthood might as well just have you toss dice to decide which one of your children are going to live or die. They don't care. Don't be stupid with the gift of life that God gives you... have those babies!!!
A Message to the Ladies
Most of what I just said applies to the men, and I've posted this article on both the Men's Page and the Women's Page; but now I want to speak to you ladies.
Your husband needs a break when he walks through the door after being at work all day. The workplace can be very stressful, dealing with a jerk for a boss, cut-throat coworkers, and a heathen environment where most women today dress like two-bit hussies. American women have turned the workplace into the whoreplace, where women adorn themselves in immodest fashions that cause sinful temptations for men. Then those men go home to be greeted by a wife who's covered in baby vomit and the house smells like a barn. And before you know it, an argument has begun.
So make sure the house is aired out well ladies, and try to get Jr. used to taking a nap at the time that your husband comes home from work. You ought to greet him fresh, happy and with a smile. You ought to have a meal prepared for him that smells great. If he already ate or wants to go out to eat, say, “No problem, we'll eat this tomorrow or me and the kids will eat it.” Don't blow up in anger because you spent 2-hours preparing him a meal. That's your job! Whether he wants to eat it or not is his prerogative. Let him be the man of the home. You did your part.
When your husband walks through the door, your first words ought to be, “I love you,” or “Thank you for going to work for me and the kids.” You don't want to say something like, “Did you pick up the diapers?” And by the way, if you men forget to pick them up, GO BACK and get them. Don't get upset, it's not worth the argument. Be a man. A marriage, to be successful, requires effort and compromise on both parts. I know that word “compromise” is a bad word concerning just about everything else in the Christian's life. We should never compromise our convictions. However, compromise is the key to building a lasting marriage. I know of young couples who have divorced because the husband wouldn't budge and give into the wife. Is it really worth a divorce fellas? Granted, there are some issues when a husband may need to take a firm stand, but in most cases I think not.
I knew a young Christian man who woke his wife up at 3 a.m. and asked her to bake him cookies just to see if she'd do it. Then he went bragging to everyone in the church that she baked him cookies at 3 a.m. The guy's a jerk, not to mention an idiot. Don't abuse your authority men. Respect your wife. She needs her sleep too you know.
Now if your husband takes the initiative to do some work around the house when he comes home from work, let him lead. As a wife, you are the follower and your husband is the leader. That is, if you have a Biblical marriage relationship that is honoring and pleasing unto the Lord.
Although I believe it's only fair for husbands to spend more time at home helping their wives fulfill household chores, I also realize that many women get lazy and slack off on their responsibilities. Stay off that phone. Most of the time you end up gossiping and you know it's true. Spend some time in the back yard enjoying God's creation. Plant a little flower garden. Do some of your housework, like sorting the laundry, outside in the fresh air. You need to get out of the house each day for several hours. Mothers are busy 24/7 and have to learn to juggle all their duties without slacking off. It's not an easy thing to do, but with God's help you can do it. It's a matter of working smart, and not hard.
Remember ladies, your husband must always come first. I know a lot of mothers want to put their children first, but that's a sure recipe for disaster. One day your kids are going to grow up, but your husband will still be there, if you haven't drove him away or abandoned your own marriage. If you fail as a wife, you are a failure in life, period. God did NOT create a woman to be a mother. That is one of her duties, certainly, but the PRIMARY reason God created a woman was to be a HELP MEET to her husband (Genesis 2:18). Your first and foremost priority is TO YOUR MAN. This is Biblical. Your husband's needs must come first. Your husband must never be ignored or neglected for the sake of your children. If you disagree, then you are not a Biblical wife and may likely end up divorced someday.
The Real Problem
There's nothing worse than a lazy wife who won't cook, clean or properly take care of her children. Many women end up in a Psychiatrist's office, to no avail, because the real problem is that they're rebellious against God and the Bible. Psychiatrists are trained to prescribe drugs for nearly everything. It is common for a lazy wife who causes her husband much grief to be diagnosed with a “chemical imbalance” of the brain. Psychiatrists are infamous for misdiagnosing women with a “Hormonal Imbalance, Clinical Depression, Regressive Anger, Post-Traumatic Stress,” et cetera; Anything other than the truth of God's Word. If a psychiatrist were to tell someone that they need to get right with God, they could be sued and lose their license to practice medicine. Modern psychiatry DOESN'T recognize the concept of sin, nor do they recognize the Bible as God's Word. Often, the problem is really a character problem, a spiritual defect that needs to be remedied with the Word of God. Psychiatrists by law are required to follow a set protocol and prescribe drugs, drugs, drugs.
The real problem for many women today is the godless, feminist, covetous, selfish, sinfully proud, American culture of death. Nothing is held as being sacred anymore. Marriage is mocked. Sex is joked about. Sin is glorified. A lot of women get depressed and stop caring, often because they discover that their husband is less than happy with them as a wife. If you are serving the Lord, then it shouldn't matter. Sure it hurts, but who are you living for, your husband or Jesus Christ? I would rather marry a woman who loves God, than to marry a woman who loves me; because when I change and she is no longer fond of me (i.e., the world's phony type of synthetic love) she'll stay married to me if she loves God more than me. You need to marry someone who loves God more than you, so that when they don't love you anymore they'll still be faithful to God.
Every person who divorces doesn't love God, because God told us to forgive (Matthew 18:22) and do unto others as we would have them do unto us (Matthew 7:14). Would you want someone to abandon you, while you're crying in tears and begging your spouse for a second chance? No, you wouldn't. But you went ahead and cold-heartedly stabbed your spouse in the heart and left them for dead, moving on to greener pastures. You are a selfish heathen and God will punish you severely one day. If men shall give account to God for every idle world spoken on Judgment Day (Matthew 12:36), then how much more will women give account who destroy their husband's lives by abandoning and divorcing?
My goal in writing these articles is hopefully to save a few marriages. The world has a selfish view of marriage, a give-to-get philosophy, a willingness to quit when things are no longer going their way; but the Bible teaches something VERY different... a lifetime commitment, where there is NO excuse whatsoever to divorce. Love and commitment are forever, just as God NEVER leaves nor forsakes us (Hebrews 13:4-5). Amen!
“And we know that we are of God, and the whole world lieth in wickedness” (1st John 5:19).
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