Hey Sandhu,
A
believer can pray anything they want. I did the same exact thing as you during
my youth. I was saved at age 13, but too shy to go to the alter in church, so
I trusted Christ in my pew the best I knew how. I feared, like you, for the
next 7 years, crying often, worried "what if?" I go to Hell? What if I didn't
pray right? What if I am not really saved? And I prayed more times than I can
remember something like this:
"Lord, I believe I am saved, but
I am not sure. If I am not saved, I want to be saved. If I am saved, you owe
it to me as your child to show me. Please show me if I am your child, because
I don't feel it. I do believe you are the Son of God Jesus, the only Christ. I
do believe that you died on the cross for my sins. I do believe that you were
buried and resurrected three days later. You did that to pay for my sins. I
believe all of that. In fact, I believe it so much Lord, that I would
confidently even say, I KNOW IT! I know you are the Christ! I know that I am a
sinner and that I deserve to go to Hell and burn forever for my sins. Please,
please, Lord, please let me know if I am not saved, because if I'm not, I want
to be saved, because I fully trust in you!"
I must have prayed that prayer, or
something close to it, fifty times over that miserable 7 year time period in
my teenage years. I was so afraid of dying and going to Hell forever. But each
time I prayed I felt no better. That lingering worry was still there, "What
if?" What if I don't make it to Heaven? What if I burn in Hell forever ever
and ever and ever and ever and ever??? I was terrified.
Some foolish person might say it is a sin
to doubt what God has said, but that is cruel to say to someone having worries
about their salvation, because perhaps the person is not doubting God; but
rather, they are doubting their comprehension of what God has said. That was
my situation. I never doubted God, I doubted whether I had it right or not.
You cannot simply ignore a doctrinal problem to make it go away. The doubts
are there for a reason, and that reason is a failure to grasp the
clarity of the Gospel.
Now, in hindsight, I fully understand why I went through those horrible times
of doubt. It was because I was sincerely naive and ignorant of how salvation
works. I had read every Gospel tract I could find, but the problem was—and I
didn't realize it until decades later—that all those tracts were really
teaching religion and not the Gospel (not accurately). Interestingly,
Chick
tracts never gave me the impression that I had to turn away from my sins
to be saved, although I have received e-mails from other people who said that
at one time they had been deceived by Chick tracts, which is why I expose them
as corrupt. Where I was misled, is that every single religious tract that I
read, concluded by telling me to pray a sinner's prayer to be saved. So I
always feared that maybe I left something out of my prayer. What if I missed
something? I knew, according to all the tracts that I had read, that I was
supposed to be saved, BUT I DID NOT FEEL SAVED, and that is what scared my so
much!
Think about that! I had already believed,
so I was saved from the very first time that I placed my trust in the Lord at
age 13. But I kept praying again and again and again and again, asking Jesus
to save me several dozen times over a 7 year period, because I was so worried
that I wasn't really saved. Oh, what fear I endured. The whole time all I
needed was for someone to make the Gospel simple, and leave off all the extra
garbage that nearly everyone
ADDS to it.
The moment that someone adds anything to the Gospel, it is NO LONGER the
Gospel! The Gospel is Good News to be believed, not Good News to be
lived.
Why I was 17 years old, after much internal struggling with my doubts and
fears, I gained the strength to go to my pastor's office to talk with him.
That was one of the hardest things I ever did! My pastor, respectfully, made
the mistake of concluding that since I didn't know I was saved, I must not be
saved. That was so wrong for him to think that way. The worst thing you can do
to a person who is not sure they are saved is to lead them to do the SAME
THING they have been doing for years, that is, pray another sinner's prayer,
which gets them nowhere! So I was led to pray another sinner's prayer. I was
then led to be water baptized again in the weeks to follow. I had been water
baptized as a child, after my kindergarten teacher led me in a 1-2-3, follow
me, SINNER'S PRAYER. Oh boy! I was told that I was saved, but I was as lost as
a moose in a caboose! I was as lost as a polar bear on Miami Beach! I was as
lost as... you get the idea!
So at age 17, after being led to pray a sinner's prayer in kindergarten, and
after praying dozens of sinner's prayers from reading every religious tract I
could get my hands on, and now being misled by my well-meaning pastor to pray
another sinner's prayer... I was getting nowhere, confused, frustrated, and
still afraid that I wasn't really saved, BECAUSE I DIDN'T FEEL SAVED! And in
hindsight, the reason why I didn't feel saved is because I had never been
properly taught the simple and clear truth of THE GOSPEL. I absolutely love
and cherish the following quote from Pastor Ralph "Yankee" Arnold, because it
explains exactly "why" I didn't know I was really saved for so many years,
because I had never been shown the clarity of the Gospel...
“There is power in
this Gospel message. Most people just don't know how to present it... The
clarity of the Gospel is what makes it easy for them to believe.”
—Pastor Yankee Arnold, a quote from the
excellent MP3 sermon titled, “WHY
GRACE CAN SAVE THE WORST MAN!”
It was HARD for me to believe, because no
one ever presented the Gospel in a clear and simple way. Now I KNOW beyond any
shadow of a doubt that I was saved at about age 13, because the presence of
the Holy Spirit has been in my life from the very moment I remember calling
upon the name of Jesus Christ from my soul, silently, from my church pew on a
Sunday morning. The pastor (ironically the very one who a few years later
didn't help me settle the assurance of my salvation) said in his sermon that
day that a person is not saved if they don't have the indwelling Holy Spirit
convicting them about sin in their life. I was convicted when I heard that,
and for the first time in my life knew that I wasn't saved. I knew that I was
a sinner. I had heard in Sunday School all my childhood that a guy named Jesus
had died for my sins, been buried and raised up three days later. I vaguely
understood these things.
When I was saved, I knew NOTHING about theology. I didn't know that Jesus was
God. I had never been taught any of these things, not that I remember. All I
knew is that Jesus was the one Who could save me, and I went to Him in my
heart, asking Him to forgive my sins and save me, and He did. I know He did
because the Holy Spirit has been with me since that very moment. Before that
day, there was spiritual darkness in my life. I mean, there was no awareness
of God's presence in my life at all. There was no Holy Spirit conviction over
the sins in my life. I remember stealing other children's lunch money in the
Christian school my parents had enrolled me into. I didn't feel bad one bit. I
stole 50 cents here, and 50 cents there. I was a childhood thief. That's all I
remember stealing, which I doubt ever amounted to more than $5, but I was a
thief nonetheless!
I remember that I used to sass my mother, before I was saved. I never felt bad
about it (but I NEVER would do it in front of my father, or else I'd get it!).
I never sassed by dad! But when I got saved at age 13, God immediately started
convicting me. I remember that still, small, quiet, voice of God in my soul,
silently saying, "David, I don't want you talking to your mother like that
anymore!" And I didn't. I even remember my mother saying to me one day,
"You've changed!" It didn't mean anything to me then, but looking back today,
I cherish those precious words, because they are further evidence of the
presence of the Holy Spirit in my life, which is the only conclusive biblical
evidence that a person is born-again. 1st John 3:24, "And he that keepeth
his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he
abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us."
Many Bible students misunderstand the Epistle of 1st John, thinking that it
teaches a person is not saved if they still commit sin. 1st John 3:9,
"Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him:
and he cannot sin, because he is born of God." But carefully notice the
last part of the preceding verse... "HE CANNOT SIN, BECAUSE HE IS BORN OF
GOD!" Clearly, we all sin. The best Christians still sin. So this verse can
only mean that the new man, which is Christ in us, cannot sin. The believers
has a new nature in Christ, but the old nature, the flesh, is still there. My
own testimony is a good illustration of this truth. Before I was saved, I only
had the carnal, fleshly, nature, so I had no conviction over the sin in my
life. I couldn't walk in the Spirit, because I didn't know Christ yet and
didn't have the blessed indwelling Holy Spirit. But when I got saved, God the
Father and His dear Son came to make their abode (home) with me. John
14:23, "Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my
words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our
abode with him." This refers to the indwelling Holy Spirit, which is the
Godhood in me (1st Corinthians 3:16-17).
So the believer CAN walk in the Spirit, or they can walk in the old flesh. We
have a choice as Christians how to walk. Galatians 5:25 says if we LIVE
in the Spirit (i.e., we are saved), then we ought also WALK in the Spirit
(i.e., yield to the Spirit of God in obedience to His Word). This is how
salvation works. God saves a man and then the Holy Spirit changes him. But
these changes are not mandatory for salvation, nor are any of these changes
"proof" of being saved. Some of the most morally upright people, with
character and a good attitude, are still unsaved. The people in Matthew
7:21-23 did "many wonderful works" in Jesus' name, but were still
unsaved. The Lord even called them "workers of iniquity." So a changed life is
NOT evidence of salvation, otherwise these folks certainly would have been
saved.
Here's a book Sandhu, by Pastor Max D. Younce, which greatly helped me
solidify my beliefs on salvation. I hope you will read it completely. The book
is titled, "Salvation And The Public Invitation"...
http://www.jesusisprecious.org/books/max_younce/salvationandthepublicinvitationweb.pdf
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/BTP/Dr_Max_Younce/Invitation/toc.htm
In hindsight, the plain reason why I had
so many problems with obtaining the assurance of my salvation, is because I
had never been given a clear presentation of the Good News of Christ
crucified, buried and risen. I had never been told that I could be saved
simply by BELIEVING, without praying a prayer. When I first learned many years
later that I didn't even have to pray, or walk an isle in a church, or make
Jesus the "Lord" of my life, my eyes were immediately opened. It was already
saved. It was just like learning about Jesus' deity. I didn't know that Jesus
was God until I was first taught that doctrine at age 18 in Bible college. But
when I first heard that truth, the Holy Spirit testified in my heart that it
was 100% the truth, and I gladly received that doctrine.
The same was true with learning that I didn't have to pray to be saved. I
immediately knew in my soul that this was the truth, and my mind cleared up
completely, having the final missing piece of the puzzle to solve God's great
plan of salvation. That is all I am doing with my online ministry, that is,
helping people find the missing pieces to the puzzles in their life,
particularly concerning salvation. If you are having doubts about your
salvation my friend, it just means you are missing a piece of the puzzle. I am
not saying that the Gospel is a puzzle. I am saying that if you have never
heard a clear presentation of the Gospel, then it will be a puzzle in your
mind, to your understanding.
Once you finally grasp the simple clarity of the Gospel, the puzzle will be
complete in your mind, and you will NEVER doubt your salvation again. God
knows that I speak the truth, that I cannot remember the last time that I
doubts concerning my salvation, and it has been decades. But the final puzzle
piece that gave me absolute perfect peace was when I read Dr. Younce's
precious book, “Salvation And The Public Invitation.” I had previously read
Dr. Curtis Hutson's excellent book titled, "Salvation
Crystal Clear," which is awesome. But Dr. Hutson's book didn't impact me
the way that Pastor Younce's book did. I cannot thank God enough for Calvary
Community Church and their Florida Bible College, of which Dr. Younce is a
graduate, founded by Dr. A. Ray Stanford (1916-2012). His successor was Dr.
Hank Lindstrom (1940-2008). And now Pastor Ralph "Yankee" Arnold. I love and
appreciate these men of God, for doing what so few ministers have done, which
is, to present the Gospel with such simplicity and clarity that multitudes are
getting saved. ...
Here is one of my favorite MP3 sermons, by Pastor Hank Lindstrom, titled, "How
Permanent Is Your Salvation"...
http://www.jesusisprecious.org/sermons/audio/hank_lindstrom/how_permanent_is_your_salvation.mp3
And here is a beautiful MP3 sermon by
Pastor Ralph "Yankee" Arnold titled, "Easy Believism"...
http://www.jesusisprecious.org/sermons/audio/ralph_yankee_arnold/easy_believism.mp3
As a spiritually hungry teenager, I did
read my King James Bible, but I wasn't learned enough yet in the Scriptures to
make heads or tails out of it, and so I didn't understand it very well. So I
relied on religious tracts to help me know that I was saved, which greatly
confused me. Most tracts are garbage! I have grown to hate tracts, because so
many theologically incompetent people are writing them. I have written my own
Gospel tract Sandhu, which you can print to share with others if you'd like...
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/BTP/my_gospel_tract.pdf
